Recently I watched a show called Heartbreak High on Netflix after seeing many clips on TikTok of a character named Quinni. Quinni’s character peaked my interest because she was autistic but not like Dr Shaun Murphy from The Good Doctor, or Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory were autistic (Yes, I know Sheldon Cooper isn’t canonically autistic but look me in the eye and tell me that’s not textbook autism!) She wasn’t ‘robotic’ or a computer-whizz. Neither was I. After watching the show, I realised that Quinni was just like me. Even down to very niche details.

We’re both talkative, creative, passionate individuals that drew pictures of demon girls, were obsessed with a book series, and argued back with indisputable facts and statistics! The clips I saw on TikTok resonated so well with me because I too had an ex tell me that being with me was too much without thinking that yeah, it’s hard for me too. I too have moments of feeling like the World is turning, changing, evolving, and I’m being left behind. I too grip onto things like writing a story, designing a game, creating characters, or finding out who ‘Bird Psycho’ is because I too need to do something I’m good at where I can be in control of the rules because I’m sick of following everyone else’s. Then I discovered that the actress who played Quinni, Chloe Hayden, is also autistic with ADHD. Just like me.

I followed her on Instagram and TikTok immediately. I discovered that she’s a public speaker and she publicly speaks about Autism! She loves Disney, and animals, and the Titanic! She’s so brilliant, and cool, and herself.

My partner then surprised me one day with her book, Different, Not Less. (It was quite funny actually. He’d ordered it on Amazon and not told me as to not ruin the surprise but the knock on the door caused my dogs to bark very loudly when I was already overstimulated and he came home from work to find me in my room having a meltdown. New rule: ALWAYS WARN ABBY ABOUT DELIVERIES OR VISITORS.) Different, Not Less is ‘A neurodivergent’s guide to embracing your true self and finding your happily ever after’ as stated on the front cover.

I read this book so quickly. I loved every second of it. I have sticky notes in the pages where I’ve written similar experiences of my own that relate to each chapter, little annotations, and quotes that I loved. Chloe had added in facts and statistics about disabled people, mental health, SA, prejudice, and bullying that make people think. She’s so passionate about making people aware of not only autism or disabilities in general, but the stigma that follows. I hung on to every word because a lot of those statistics, I wasn’t aware of and I felt her passion and my own merge together.

But the thing I love most about this book is that Chloe Hayden put into words the very feelings and experiences that I’d never been able to articulate. I made this blog in hopes that enough people would read it and think “yeah, I think I get it” and I got that book! It was almost as though it was written for me! Who knew that all the way on the other side of the World was someone 2 years older than me already experiencing exactly what I felt on the daily. We’re like Tinkerbell and Periwinkle from Secret of The Wings.

Now, of course our experiences aren’t exactly alike, I was diagnosed at 23 years old and Chloe was diagnosed at 12/13 years old. I grew up in England and she grew up in Australia. I did extremely well academically and my school schedule was my lifeline. Chloe’s school experience was… not so great.

But the way we overlapped in areas made me feel so incredibly seen. It’s given my confidence a massive kick up the backside and from now on, I’ll be more and more unapologetically myself. No shame in wearing my sunflower lanyard, or skipping across the zebra crossing should the need arise. No feeling like I can’t be me because of judgemental onlookers.

I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. Neurodivergent or not. Friends, family, partners of neurodivergent people or not. Read. This. Book. It will give everyone a further understanding of what being neurodivergent is and why we should never try to hide our true selves. Why we should never have been forced to in the first place. Please please please read this book.

It’s truly an eye-opener.

Link to buy is here!